Selfish

I think everyone is selfish... Everything that we do, we do it for a purpose... and that purpose is what you want... an outcome that you want, not anyone else... even if for example, I want my daughter to become discipline, though it's for her good, but it's still what I want... so I really think that everyone is selfish., please don't tell that you are not...

I hoping so much for privacy... when I was young and staying with my parents, I cant have fully privacy... thus I always hoping for more privacy when I'm getting older and especially when I have my own family... that's why the first day talk about marry, I already suggested to have our own house... Unfortunately, our financial at that time was still unstable... so now I really wish to have my HOME

Parents in law maybe think that I don't like to stay with them... like I said, everyone is selfish... they wish that they can spend more time with their son and grandchild, but at the same time i wish that we could have our own life without letting them to see it... it maybe sounds weird... for me, it's all about privacy... I dun mean that my in law will touch my things or peek my diary or anything, but when it comes to some 'private activity', it's really inconvenient to me...

I'm selfish, I know... I always wanted too much... that's greedy at the same time... I'm trying to get what I want, yes, all, at the same time...

Day that darling not around

I think I should start to blog more... especially when darling was not around... so that he can read what had happened when he is not around...

but I seems like prefer to talk about my feelings more than things that happen... i guess that's the reason no one like to read my posts... seems like ppl love to read daily life more than others... anyhow i will just type whatever comes to my mind...

Life is hard, it's not what I always imagine... work as a boss, I have to take care my employees and that's not easy... live as a wife, I have to be caring but not superstitious... money is really a big issue in life... I have to face this... I feel so stress when the financial is not positive... yet I feel like cant do anything... sometimes I felt like giving up this business as I feel that it tied me up... without this business I might be able to earn more... that sounds silly... I know...

luckily there's still sparks of life, like Avryl my sweet heart... though sometimes she did something made me angry, but when looking to her innocence eyes my anger will gone... I guess that's why darling said I always contradict...

I wish...

I wish i could travel more... i really likes to travel, even by just looking at the photos of friends at different countries already made me happy... well, so many places i wanted to visit... the world is so big and nice, it's really a waste if we just staying in our own comfort home... but now i have baby, it really made me less chances to travel around... thinking in another way, i have children earlier when they grown up i still can travel around, right? optimistic thinking...

Like my parents, they have spent most of the time taking care 3 of us... now my father almost 60 years old, he only been to Singapore. I really must work hard to earn more, so that at least can bring my parents to oversea before i miss the chance.

My destination:

much more

 

New life... new challenge

Boring Monday... darling starts working in new company, without expecting... Well, I expect him to start by tomorrow...

I guess my new life begins... darling's new job required him to travel very often to south Malaysia... I kept struggling before he made the decision... after all, I think I just cant reject the devil's invitation... I'm really not sure am I making the right decision this time to put myself in such situation which no one believes I can handle... from the time we pak tor, it's already seems like I never want him to leave from my side (sight? perhaps...) but now for the sake of making life, I felt that I had no choice and also it's time to challenge my trust to him, as well as his sincerity to me...

I take the challenge, and I actually believe I can handle it well. So just let the time tells the truth!

Early July 10

While waiting for my darling's interview, I'm here doing nothing with my laptop that couldn't search any availble wifi network at Kelana Jaya Centre Point... sigh... So i decided to blogging without posting... of course when I back to office with my internet access I will post it...

Life goes on though darling haven't get a job... Actually I'm quite enjoy this few weeks despite of lack in expensing power... at least could spend more time with darling as I know this wont be a long time... My little princess also quite enjoy with daddy staying home recently... she will woke up earlier than usual (coz mummy always sleep till late no point waking up too early, smart huh?) and wait daddy to carry her downstairs and play with her toys and grandma...

I'm not sure Avryl considered slow learner or quick learner... she can imitates what we doing very fast, after seeing once she already can imitate and did it by herself... but when comes to talking, it's really makes us headache... until today, 15 months and 2 weeks old, she still dun talk... she can speak only simple words, like 'mama, papa, mai(sometimes meaning buy but sometimes meaning dun want in hakka), bai, na'... I guess that's all she can speak... but she dun like to use those word, she never call me or daddy... when we come back from outside she will smile and walk to you but not calling you... I dun use the phrase that she dun like to talk, coz she actually 'talks' alots but in her own language... when we try to teach her on words, she did concentrate on listening and look at your mouth shape but she dun try to speak it... Well, I put it as she has high self esteem, she will only talk when she very sure she can speak it correctly... oh ya, one more word that she can speak is 'coca-cola'... sigh...

About my new house, we just sent the defect list to the management and it tooks about 1 month to be done. After that will start painting by self... hopefully we can do it then can save the money of hiring ppl do painting... We bought a refridgerator at Maybank Treat Fair by installment... Good news that we got a sponsor for 1 unit of air-con... so not much else left coz I already try my best on cutting the cost, like darling said we just need to get the essential things to move in first... those 'nice to have' things can hold on... the most costly to us will be the kitchen cabinet... as now we plan to do a wet kitchen, that will request more budget... this is my new kitchen plan

I draft it myself, so it might not look nice... the wall in between actually with a door and a window but I dunno how to put it on :p basic idea almost like that la... haha...

Well, will draft another post on my house list checking... please support and sponsor on which you could ya ;)

Stressful post...

It's been some time i had not blogging... busy with students exam and my new house...

ya, i had got my key few weeks ago... dun sound exciting? few weeks ago i was really excited... but now the stress had overwhelmed everything... well, i do wish to move in early, but everything is about money... collecting the key already spent thousand over...

darling already cut down most of the unnecessary or so called not-so-urgent renovation, but still has lots to spend... luckily we managed to find kitchen expert that can pay by easy payment yet affordable... but lighting and some others electrical stuffs cant avoid but to pay in cash... which we are really really short of.

about my lovely daughter, recently i found that she is so lonely... she will always disturb my younger bro and end up scolded by my bro... so pity her that she is just 1 year old, but my bro always yelled at her... i wish i could take care her more, i wish to spend more time with her and teach her more... but mamy poko and enfagrow are so expensive, so i have no choice but to work harder... i'm trying my best to keep everything in balance... work, family, love and myself...

ok it's time to google stuffs for my new HOME... cheers...

Be Yourself

We always heard ppl telling us to be ourself. But sometimes we will also heard ppl telling us to adapt the environment. Does both of this contradict? I'm not sure also.

For me, I think that to be myself is very important. Sure we need to adapt environment. But what do environment means? The surrounding? So to adapt the surrounding do we need to change? Ya, certain behavior maybe need to be changed. For example if you working under a very efficiency environment, you need to do things accordingly and punctually. 

Then does adapt to environment need to change our personality? If you are a person who very stingy, but working with ppl who very generous on money, do you need to change and become generous also? Will you be happy to do so?

Everyone is unique. Everyone has his own identity, own believes, own style. But sometimes without realize we change our style to follow others. If things go well, maybe you will come out to be another person with styles and believes that you tend to follow others. If it doesn't goes well, you will lost your identity, 

Maybe I'm very stubborn or I just want to be unique badly. I tend to not follow others, even sometimes i think the others are good. I know that's not a smart way. For example, i always stick to my own way to say hi by typing 'harlo' no matter there are so many various ways nowadays, which maybe a more in trends way. Some ppl will 'adapt' to the way of 'talking' of his best friend or boss. For instance, when text messaging normally he uses 'thx', but maybe the one who text him more often was using 'tq', then he will 'adapt' to that way. For me, i think that's the lost of uniqueness. 

Well, you can say I'm too egoistic, but I just like to be myself. The unique me!